Friday, December 2, 2016

Cinder and the Mean Book Review of Blunt Truth

Cinder (The Lunar Chronicles, #1)Cinder by Marissa Meyer

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I write. I'm an INTJ. My opinion will offend a lot of feelers out there who "loved" this book. But I can tell from the majority who 5-starred this that they do not have the capabilities of sorting cliches and predicting plot.

This series should be named the Linear Chronicles, as everything that should be been a twist, was a straight, and unchecked bore. There were no scenes to produce any care about the characters from the reader. Everything was as superficial as the glamour skill. While I pushed through to finish it, I should have thrown the book over the fence because everything I predicted that would happen, DID happen. My opinion that females do not make good comediennes reigns true especially in this book; if you're not funny, do not try to be funny. The attempt shows and it hurts your work. The author explains that if you want to publish a good book, you should have good beta readers. Obviously, she did not take her own advice, or she adopted a bunch of feeler fans who were too starstruck or sensitive about exposing the truth: this book sucks in many ways:

(1) Static, one-dimensional characters with little to no motivations or passions; (2) awfully predictable plot; (3) pitiful action scenes; (4) superfluous dialogue with static voices, and (5) repetitive descriptors. I saw she reused words--enough to turn it into a drinking game ("nails dug into his/her hand"--shot!).

For the storyline's brink of war there was zero urgency in the protagonist, and no blinding passion to move her to become a worthy hero. If the characters, even the minor antagonists, had any drive to put up plot barricades and ultimatums, then it would be easier to move through the chapters. Not even hook lines existed at the end of chapters, or none that were worthy. The author had PLENTY of opportunities to show gumption in the protagonist and she failed.

One chapter had me rolling my eyes so much when she had the opportunity to stay away from the stepmother. I could have written it where she had a new base of operations, so she had more impact at the big finale, where Cinderella's supposed to go to the ball. It was not there. Everything was so mediocre. I could not cry, I could barely laugh--I did not feel anything for any of these characters. Dr. Erland appealed to me most and there was lots of potential there. Dead and done. I will not be picking up another book because in the last chapter I just skipped through the prose, saw it was a poor sitcom hook so she could write more books, and I ended up saying, "That's it? Geez." Bottomline: everyone was just soooooo NICE. Even the antagonists. When there's a war, there is no nice. When there's an abusive family, it's far worse than what's in this book. Should've talked to a soldier, general, or even an abuse survivor to get a feel for what should have happened in the book.

If you crave intelligence, adventure, deep romance, and a good plot with lively characters, do NOT choose this book. Now I await the butthurt feely fans to comment on how mean I am when they have no clue who I am and what I do and why. If Meyer wishes to produce more work, she needs logical, honest people as beta readers who aren't afraid of hurting her feelings. She needed guidance and her support failed her.

Good job at the end of chapter 33. I enjoyed that at least.

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